I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
