There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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