Whoa Z and x make the same sound
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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