hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
