whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize