Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
