we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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