My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
