idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
