Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
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Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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