I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
youre lurking in front of me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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