You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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