Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize