they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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