I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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