Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
