Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.