Sponge bath it is.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.