I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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