I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think my mom watched the whole time
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
