Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
