Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
dude. I can hear the air.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
