All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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