I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
