So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was like giving head to a cactus.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
