just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
