so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
