I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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