he thought i was a dude.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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