Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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