so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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