my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize