I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
