oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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