Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
