you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you had me at cake vodka
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
