The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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