i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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