i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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