my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
