It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
