totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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