That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
