If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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