just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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