is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
they need to just BURY HIM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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