Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
