porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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