just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
