i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
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My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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