My brain says no but my pants say off.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
