Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
