I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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