Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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