No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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