he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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