my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
