Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
