How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
