the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
