just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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