Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
